A Controversial Topic
by Zinc10
Summary: Jim and Bones discuss their views on sex after an away mission. Spock makes an appearance. Not Slash! A short relatively lighthearted oneshot.


A Controversial Topic

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek or any of its characters.

X

Jim had just come back from saving a newly discovered planet from the brink of civil war. He had gotten himself somewhat injured, some gashes of his chest, and his shirt had been ripped off at some point.

Spock had managed to beam the captain back to the Enterprise after Jim gave an inspiring speech to the natives about working together and valuing their unity and whatnot. He was then pulled into sickbay by a grouchy doctor who insisted that Jim not leave his bed until the gashes were healed. In other words it was a normal day on the Enterprise.

Something beeped on McCoy's scanner as he examined Jim to make sure there weren't any other injuries. Bones stared at the screen for a second, before rolling his eyes with a sigh.

"Seriously Jim? You get kidnapped by an alien species on the brink of war and you get into a fight with two angry guards, but you still manage to have sex with someone? You were only gone for three hours!" The doctor grumbled incredulously.

Jim's face brightened and his eyes glazed over with memories, "There was a moment of passion between me and the princess, Bones. In that moment we shared a deep connection. Besides, she was _hot_. She refused my invitation to join me on the Enterprise, however, as she wished to stay behind to unite her people."

"Jim you'd known her for less than three hours! How the hell can you have sex with someone you only just met?"

"Sometimes passion just happens Bones, and sex is a great way to share a powerful connection with someone." Jim replied.

"No," Bones grumbled, "Sex should only be shared between two people who love each other. Preferably married people, but I won't bite your head off if there's some hanky-panky going on if you're in a committed non-married relationship. You shouldn't be having it with every damn scantily clad alien you can wiggle your eyebrows at."

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with two willing adults participating in a healthy, trust building activity that is enjoyable and pleasurable for both parties." Jim countered. He tried to cross his arms over his chest, but McCoy swatted his arms away from the wounds.

"Do you have any idea how many diseases and viruses you can catch doing that? STDs can be quite severe, Jim."

"It's highly unlikely that any disease an alien has could infect me. Their diseases haven't evolved to be able to attack humans," Jim countered, with a raised eyebrow.

"Highly unlikely, sure. But in the rare case that they do infect humans, it could be devastating because human's haven't evolved any immunity to those diseases." Bone grumbled, and then started listing off alien diseases that had infected humans, a few of which were famously devastating.

"Relax Bones," the captain interrupted him with a clap on his back, "I've been doing this for years and I've never caught anything."

Bones glared at him, then hyposprayed him in the neck with an infection fighter to destroy any potential infections that the gashes might have caught. Jim grumbled.

"Even if ya don't catch anything nasty, there's still a strong psychological and emotional impact of having sex freely with people you just met. I'm a doctor, I've taking classes in psychology."

"I've taken psychology too," Jim responded, "You know they offer a class called 'psychology of sex' at the academy, right?"

"Figures you'd take that class," Bones muttered under his breath.

"-and I learned all about the positive mental and physical effects sex can have. Sex boosts your immune system, lowers stress and blood pressure, battles depression and sadness, and builds trust between people. Sure, bad experiences are traumatizing, and being sexually indiscriminate as a teenager can batter your self-esteem, but no one has a bad experience with me because I'm amazing at sex, and I'm not a damn teenager that's caving to social pressures. Seriously Bones, relax."

"You're humility continues to amaze me." Bones drawled sarcastically, then huffed, "Still ain't right to have sex with someone you just met. What happened to the good old days where sex was a sacred activity, cherished between lovers?"

"Now you're just being prudish."

"No, you're just being too new-age-sexual-revolution-y."

"Let's agree to disagree."

Leonard grunted.

The two came to a stalemate as the doctor finished his scans and took out the dermal regenerator, getting to work on fixing captain Kirk's bloody gashes. It was then that Spock walked through the door. He looked as calm and collected, his uniform impeccably clean as always.

"Doctor McCoy," Spock began, "may I inquire as to when the captain will be released from sickbay?"

"Hold your damn horses, you pointy eared hobgoblin, I'll need another couple minutes."

Spock raised an eyebrow, "I do not own any equines, doctor, so I do not see how I could hold mine."

Bones huffed in exasperation, then an idea came to him, "Hey Spock, this might be the only thing we could ever agree on, but you do believe that sex should only be between two people who love each other, right? Not something that should be had with just any damn scantily clad alien that comes around."

Spock's back straightened imperceptible, his arms held stiffly behind his back, clearly uncomfortable with the topic, "Love is an emotion doctor, Vulcans do not feel love."

Jim coughed the word "liar" into his fist none-too-subtlety.

Spock raised an eyebrow at his captain's antics, but continued on without comment, "Sexual intercourse is a method of sexual reproduction utilized by most cognitive species. It is necessary for the continuation of the species, and should only be used as a method to accomplish that." Jim and Bones stared at him for a minute, disbelieving.

"Does Uhura know about your opinions on sex?" Jim asked.

"I will see you on the bridge, Captain." Spock said, ignoring Jim's question completely. He promptly turned around and walked out of sickbay.

"Green blooded hobgoblin," McCoy grumbled, shaking his head. A couple minutes of dermal regeneration later, Bones switched off his device, saying, "you're good to go kid."

Jim beamed at his friend and leapt off the bed, "Great! I'll see you after shift then? We can play some poker with Scotty and Sulu."

"Sure thing kid," Bones responded as Jim walked toward the exit.

"Oh, and Jim? Put on a damn shirt!"

X

Author's Note: Please leave a comment if you enjoyed this short story.

Please don't flame, but feel free to leave a comment about your own views on sex. Which character do you agree with most? Bones or Jim? Spock? None?


End file.
